Meet Cute Month
by rhead-a-holyc
Summary: Character swaps of NeonDomino's Meet Cute Marathon collection. Wolfstar
1. One

James had only mentioned an address, and Sirius had never been more annoyed with his best friend. It was a scavenger hunt for what Sirius assumed was Lily's address. Asking someone would have been so much easier, but Sirius insisted he didn't want anyone else knowing that he was essentially stalking Lily Evans.

Sirius wasn't sure there was anything more suspicious than a person driving up and down the same streets, looking lost, but not asking for help.

A dog's excited bark dragged him out of his annoyed musings, and a laughing sandy-haired jogger chased after him. The man's damp clothing stuck to his body, and his laughter was interrupted by little huffs of breath.

"Snuffles! Come back! You can't just-!"

Sirius never heard the end of the complaint.

A stream of late afternoon sunlight, accompanied by muffled cursing, woke him.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

The sterile white and blue environment told him that he was in a hospital room. Sirius was almost certain the man who had spoken was the same one he had been admiring earlier. He wasn't wearing his jogging clothing and held a book in his hand instead.

"You crashed into a tree. I called the ambulance, just in case, but you weren't injured too badly. Probably just a couple of bruises." He took a moment to stare at Sirius. "I'm Remus, by the way, and I really hadn't expected to be the witness to an accident on my daily..."

"I'm probably the luckiest man alive." Sirius sighed happily, sinking into the hard bed, without listening to a word.

"Are you serious?"

"I am, actually." Sirius grinned at the sigh he received. "Sirius Black."

"You've been awake for about five minutes, and that's already old," Remus commented. "Believe it or not, I heard that joke all the way here – the paramedics were having the time of their lives when they saw your ID."

"Who?" Sirius demanded, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "I'm the only one allowed to use that joke!"

Remus stared at him.

Sirius slowly lay down again, pulling the covers with him.

Remus smirked. "You're right. They didn't sound as good coming from someone else. Also, I've sent a message to everyone on your contact list, so someone is probably on their way to pick you up."

Sirius froze. "My _entire_ contact list?" His brother was on there. His _mother_ was probably on there somewhere too.

Remus winked, shutting the door behind him. Sirius nearly dropped his phone in his haste to see exactly how much damage had been done.

A messaged beeped in moments later.

 _And thanks for your number -Remus_


	2. Two

_My doctor says I'm lacking Vitamin U_

A hastily scribbled line that Alice had dared him to put onto the cup of the next customer, that happened to be a man in a leather jacket that looked way too cool for a cheesy pick up line.

Remus couldn't stand to look the man in his eye as he handed the cup of coffee over. He would have to find a way to get back at Alice for this.

"Oh! I've never noticed these pick-up lines before. Brilliant! I hope they keep them."

The man walked out, cup cradled carefully in his hand so that the writing was still visible.

* * *

 _Are you a bank loan? Because you got my interest_

The man had insisted this time, and Alice had been delighted to call Remus back to the counter to deal with him.

"There was a pick-up line on my cup last time. I want another!"

Remus hesitated. He was dreadful with pick-up lines, and the last one had been Alice's idea all along. He couldn't think of anything, and starred at the small ATM that sat on the other side of the road when he came up with it.

"You can't tell me they've stopped them already!" The man whined and complained until Remus grabbed his steaming cup and scribbled the pick-up line on to the side.

"I hope you don't mind it's a bit messy," Remus added, handing the coffee back. "It should still be legible, though."

The man examined the line, before grinning. "Brilliant! Thanks."

* * *

 _Tie your shoelaces! I don't want you falling for anyone else_

Remus had made sure to memorise a few pick-up lines just in case the man showed up again. He didn't want a scene, nor did he want the teasing he got from Alice afterwards.

He was just waiting for Frank so come by so he could conveniently be on lunch and leave Alice on duty. It would be the ultimate payback, and Remus didn't think he'd feel the slightest bit guilty.

The man smirked when he saw the pick-up line, eyes crinkling with his laughter.

"Believe me, I will make sure my shoelaces are tightly tied."

The door was closed by the time Remus realised what the man had meant. His ears started to burn.

"I smell romance," Alice sang, twirling around the small space behind the counter.

"Shut up."

* * *

 _You look ill. You must be suffering from a lack of Vitamin ME_

Remus glanced at his scribble on the cup every few seconds. He had already nearly spilled a dozen coffees, and had to repeat several orders, and Remus could see Alice's shoulders shaking with her suppressed laughter next to him.

"Take over my line for a moment, Remus. Looks like we've run out of spoons. I'm going to check in the back," Alice said suddenly.

Frowning, Remus looked up and into the grey eyes of the stranger that liked his lame pick-up lines, and he swallowed heavily.

"The usual?"

The man nodded. "I'm Sirius, by the way. We've met so many times, and I've never had the opportunity to ask for your name before."

"It's Remus." He carefully handed the cup over and waited anxiously.

Sirius grinned.

"I think you'd want this back, then," Sirius said, offering his receipt.

The ink at the back caught Remus's eye.

Sirius was halfway to the door by the time Remus looked up again. "Call me when you're free."


	3. Three

"Do you have any books on Old Norse Runes? Or maybe Ancient Runes?"

The man looked hopeful, and Sirius sighed, moving away from the issues desk where he had been sorting through the books that had been recently returned.

It was probably the third time this week that this man had come looking for some obscure topic. First it had been Atlantis, then Camelot, and now Ancient Runes. Sirius didn't even know how many other times the man had visited since he had just returned a pair of books – one on String Theory, which had given Sirius a headache once he cracked it open, and the other on Medicinal Herbs, both books oddly Muggle in comparison to the other subjects.

"Are you on some kind of quest?" Sirius asked suddenly as they weaved through the many shelves. He rarely asked, and knew it was generally none of his business anyway, but he was interested, for once. The man didn't seem as stoic as the others either.

"Ah. In a manner of speaking, I suppose I am." The man looked almost sheepish as he said it, and Sirius wondered what kind of quest would have someone so embarrassed. Sirius motioned towards the shelf he had turned to face and got a grateful smile in response.

He reached down and picked up the first book on morphology. Sirius didn't leave though, watching as he flicked through the pages, eyes darting from one corner to the next. He closed it and reached for the next before he realised that he still had an audience.

"It's my son. He wants to go on a quest to find Atlantis," he said finally. 'I _know_ Atlantis doesn't exist, so I've been planning a quest for us to go on during his summer vacation. I'm trying to make it as realistic as possible, but it's difficult. There are only so many books I can read between now and his summer vacation, and there's only so much even magic can do."

"Is your wife not helping out?" Sirius asked offhand.

The man shook his head. "She, well, she passed a few years ago. Teddy barely remembers her anymore. I have a friend who tries her best to help out, but she has her own family, and I don't want to intrude more than I have already."

"Would you like some help, then? I'm afraid I don't know much about your son, but I reckon I can be a wicked tour guide." Sirius grabbed the book the man hadn't replaced and waited for the man to look up again.

"Really? That would be great, but are you sure you wouldn't mind spending your holiday with people you don't know?" He asked, looking uncertain.

"We've got three weeks to get to know each other then," Sirius said, grinning. "I'm Sirius, Sirius Black, and you are?"

"I'm Remus, Remus Lupin." Remus grinned in reply. "I think these books are good enough for now. I'll tell you what I've been planning on the way back. I was a little worried I would make it too obvious that I'd planned everything…"


	4. Four

Facing a zombie as soon as he had stepped beyond the door of his apartment hadn't been something Remus had planned, or ever would, but that was exactly what the windy day had happened to be, and Remus was tempted to just walk back into his apartment and imagine it had never happened.

He didn't, though, because he would never hear the end of it from Lily if he did. She had called him only a few minutes ago, reminding him not to be late, and the promise he had made had become a little more tricky to keep.

Keeping a hold of the shreds of courage, and fear, that lingered somewhere in his abdomen, Remus ventured into the throngs of zombies. He was pushed and shoved through the crowd (none of them realising he was human) until, finally, he was able to walk through his own volition.

"Didn't manage to prepare?" the zombie next to him asked, grinning. He wore ripped clothes with bloodstains, and his hair was a mess of black with bits of stuff in it.

"Difficult to prepare for something like this," Remus stated, wondering how zombies were able to talk if they had their brains eaten. He had only ever read about zombies in fiction books though, and even then in passing, so it figured his idea of them were wrong.

Another zombie jumped the one Remus had been speaking to and Remus thought he heard a groan as the zombie went down, but had yelped himself so wasn't certain.

"Sirius," the original zombie said, "just because we're dressed like zombies, it doesn't mean we have removable limbs."

"I never would have guessed, James. Even _I_ wouldn't eat your brain," the second zombie, Sirius, snarked, before catching sight of Remus. "Now, _your_ brain, I definitely wouldn't mind eating!"

Remus slammed the book he had intended to read on the bus on his head, and the zombie joined his friend on the floor. He still wasn't sure he believed that they were just dressed as zombies: he would have heard of something this big. "I'd rather you didn't."

"Alright, sorry, sorry. Bad joke, I get it," Sirius mumbled. "Or maybe you're the zombie killer. I heard there would be one, I just hadn't expected you to be dressed in a cardigan and carrying a book as a weapon."

A few of the zombies had stopped to stare, giggling, and Remus was suddenly embarrassed. He hadn't expected to cause a spectacle of himself, and he was slowly realising that these two were actually people and not zombies and he had just attacked someone and...

"I'm so sorry," Remus blurted. "I didn't realise-!"

"I'll accept your apology if your number comes with it." Sirius winked, while rubbing his head. "but, wow, you have a mean hit with that book. Do you practice or something?"


	5. Five

Having to meet new people was always the worst. Remus hated it. If he could live in some forest with an unlimited supply of chocolate and books and not interact with anyone ever again, he would do it without a second thought.

But that was a dream, and this was reality – he would have to learn to deal with meeting other people. The fact that they would judge him less didn't help, but his mother had insisted (and even offered to come with him, but Remus didn't want to bother her more than he already does).

Staring at the door wasn't going to make it move, make it open to the faces of strangers that he was supposed to make friends with, but Remus wasn't sure he could do it. He was late, and they had probably already started, and they would all stare at him if he just walked in now. He didn't want to call his mother back, but he wasn't sure he could do it. Just being in the same building was a start, right? Maybe going in was a task for next week, when he was on time?

Remus' hands shook as he stared at the screen of his phone. His mother's number was right there – he would only need to push a button to call her, but with how his hands were shaking that might take several attempts, and by the time he was successful someone might have spotted him already, and-

"Remus? I didn't know you came here!"

He dropped his phone at being addressed, and hurried to pick it up. There wasn't supposed to be anyone he knew here. That was just embarrassing, and they would judge him because he was here and just standing at the door like a creep...

"It would be nice to have a friend in the group!"

Friend.

 _Friend_.

Remus finally looked up to who was talking to him, and it was one of the other boys in his class. They had paired together for a couple projects, but barely interacted beyond that. Remus had certainly not expected to see him here.

"Late," Remus whispered.

"Don't worry. It's only a few minutes. We can go in together, then it'll be like we were just talking outside, right?"

Remus nodded, and the other boy, Sirius if Remus remembered correctly, pushed open the door.

"You made it, and I see you've brought a friend with you. Wonderful! The more the merrier!" A redhead woman approached them, and Remus saw Sirius falter for the first time. He took a step back to stand slightly behind Remus when she neared them.

"I'm Molly, dear. Find your seats. We're still waiting on one or two more people before we start. They shouldn't be too long!"

Sirius stayed behind Remus until they had moved past the woman, and they took seats next to each other.

"We can be buddies for this session, or for the whole month if we play it right," Sirius whispered when Molly had moved to the opposite side of the room.

"We're supposed to have different partners?" Remus replied in horror.

"Technically, yes, but I don't like any of the others, and I don't think you'd like them either. So I'm keeping you," Sirius stated seriously, before looking slightly uncertain. "If you want to stick with me, that is."

Remus shook his head. "I'll keep you, too."


	6. Six

Remus stared at the glittering Thames, bright only because of the reflecting light from Westminster. He'd stared at the waters that would otherwise have been dark and cut through the lights of the rest of Muggle London.

He would never have seen the phenomena had he been accepted in the wizarding world; if he had been accepted into Hogwarts like his father had hoped. His affliction had put an end to that, and begun his Muggle schooling – at his mother's demand, because his father couldn't bare to accept Remus' fate. Sometimes, Remus thought his father blamed himself, but he hadn't seen his father in years.

Suddenly, an alarm screamed somewhere to his right, and Remus was moving. He knew his eye were glittering closer to amber now: his wolf was always easier to reach when it was nearing the full moon.

"I knew I would find you around here," a voice panted as he reached the street where the alarm was the loudest.

"I'd almost think _you_ were the one setting off the alarms, if we keep meeting like this." Remus grinned.

"Of course not! I'm your sidekick! If you have more work, then so do I, Moony," Padfoot whined..

"I think I like you better as a dog," Remus commented, knocking a burglar out with a sharp rap to the back of his head. There were three others – Remus could smell them on the burglar he had just knocked out - and Remus tilted his head towards the entrance of the store in an effort to locate them. "Less whiny."

"I can whine just as well as a dog," Padfoot sniffed.

It would be easier to have Padfoot sniff them out, but with a potential source of the smell just next to them, it would be difficult.

The clicking of a gun gave him pause. It always did. A single silver bullet could kill him, not that the Muggles knew that he was a werewolf, but Remus had always tried to be careful of guns.

Remus was being pushed to the side almost as he heard the gunshot ring. He was moving as soon as he hit the ground, knocking out the last three burglars who had huddled together at the back of the store. They were roughly tossed on top of the first Muggle (there may have been minor cracking of bones that Remus determinedly ignored).

"Padfoot? Padfoot!"

There was blood, and Remus didn't usually like being around blood during the full moon, but Moony was behaving so Remus thought he could risk taking Padfoot back to his shared apartment. He would explain the situation to Sirius, and he was sure Sirius wouldn't kick up _too_ much of a fuss.

"Moony! You're okay," Padfoot mumbled.

Remus sighed, partially relieved, partially worried that he wouldn't have the potions to fix this. "Because you pushed me out of the way. I heal faster than you do, you know that. There was no need to risk yourself."

"But you're always saving people. I wanted to save you, for once."

"I told you. There's-"

"Someone else. I know."

Padfoot was quiet as Remus carried him, racing through the streets to his apartment.

"How do you know where I stay?" Padfoot asked suddenly, as Remus stopped outside his apartment door, wondering how he was going to reach his keys.

"I don't. I'm taking you to..." Remus very nearly dropped Padfoot once he really registered what Padfoot had said. A ball of panic grew in the pit of his stomach. "Sirius?"

"How do you...?" Sirius looked between Remus' expression and the door. "Remus?!"

"Shhhh!"

"You know about magic," Sirius said, "and you didn't even tell me!"

"I think you should be more concerned with your injuries than my knowledge of magic, at the moment, Sirius," Remus said dryly. "I suppose you've got easier access to your keys than I do."

Sirius wriggled a little, flinching as he shifted the side where the bullet was still embedded, and Remus tensed at the sound. A short jingle of keys later, and the door swung open with a small kick on Remus' part.

"How could you not tell me, Remus? We're best friends!" Sirius whined, sounding almost normal after Remus force fed him several healing potions (that he would consequentially have to stock up on for the full moon again), removing the bullet (that ended up containing no silver, like he had expected), and bandaging Sirius midsection.

"You didn't tell me you were 'Padfoot', and you were my sidekick," Remus pointed out.

Sirius brightened suddenly. "Does this mean it was me you were talking about before? When I confessed?"

Remus groaned, nodding reluctantly. "I had a whole confession planned too."

Sirius whooped, before hissing. He gave himself a couple of seconds before exclaiming, "You can still do it! I promise I'll act surprised!"

"There's no need now. I can just take you on a normal date, wherever you want to go, after you're completely healed." Remus stood behind the couch opposite Sirius, who had refused to be put into his bed. "I still can't believe you were stupid enough to jump in front of that bullet for me."

"I don't regret it," Sirius stated, "and I would do it again."

Remus walked to Sirius' couch, and for a moment Sirius thought he would be manhandled into his bedroom. There had been several threats of locking Sirius up, or wrapping him in a bubble to keep him safe, while Remus had been bandaging him. Instead, Remus loomed over Sirius, their faces closer than they had ever been before.

"You, Sirius Black, are an idiot," Remus said, before kissing him.


	7. Seven

" A tattoo," Remus repeated. "Exactly how drunk was I? You _know_ I hate needles, and a tattoo means a needle going in several thousand times, and I _can't_."

"That's not what you said yesterday, when the tattoo artist offered you his book of designs," James sniggered.

"I don't already have one, do I?" Horror filled him at the very thought of having so many needles piercing his skin while drunk.

James patted Remus on the shoulder. "Nope. Today will be your first time."

Remus glared. "Because _that's_ comforting. I'm sure you're the one who talked be into it in the first place."

"You've said exactly the same thing for the last three weeks," James sighed. "It's time you finally went to go get your tattoo. It's not as bad as you think."

"Because you've got _tons_ of experience, James," Remus said sarcastically. "Oh, wait. You've yet to get a single tattoo yourself."

Rolling his eyes, James pushed Remus through the door to the tattoo parlour, and pulled out the receipt that Remus had tried his hardest to lose.

"You're finally back!"

"Not willingly," Remus muttered.

The man who stepped out from behind the counter wore a sleeve of tattoos that made Remus shudder. One was already one too many, and entire sleeve would force Remus to go into hiding from sheer terror.

"Regulus is in the back, so I guess I'll be doing your tattoo. Any idea what you would like?" The man steamrolled Remus's protests, and placed a large folder in Remus's arms.

"Uhhh. I don't really..." Remus started, but a design of a single, unfurling blue iris caught his attention. The blue iris was his mother's favourite colour, and Remus could see the little iris flower patch his mother had maintained every year.

"The blue iris, huh? I've never really had someone ask for that particular one before. Other than me, of course, but I have all my designs on my body somewhere." The man winked.

"Great! I'll leave you two to it!" James said, sounding relieved. "I'm going to go meet with Lily."

"James, no!" Remus hissed, but James had already shut the door behind him.

"I'm Sirius. You were probably too drunk last time to remember my name," Sirius said, after a moment's pause, probably to make sure Remus wasn't going to run out of the tattoo parlour after James.

"I'm Remus."

Sirius laughed. "Nice to meet you, Remus. Last time you introduced yourself with 'I'm drunk' and your friend, James, couldn't stop laughing."

Remus groaned. "I'm never getting drunk again."

"You were rather funny. Although, you did choose the same tattoo, even absolutely drunk," Sirius admitted. "But I had to make sure you would still want the same tattoo sober."

"I did?" Remus followed Sirius into the backroom, but hesitated at the chair. There was nothing outwardly sinister about it. The needles weren't even placed near it yet, but Remus was still weary.

"Yeah. Where do you want your tattoo?" Sirius watched Remus shift from foot to foot in silence for several minutes. "How about your shoulder? You won't see the needle. Would that be okay?"

"I-maybe," Remus mumbled, still not entirely convinced.

Sirius smiled. "I'll just go get everything ready."

Remus nodded.

When Sirius returned with the needles, gun, and ink, Remus froze again. Sirius put the equipment on the table next to the seat, and Remus took the opportunity to grab the man's hands, squeezing them tightly between his own shaking hands.

"I can't. I can't. I just _can't_ ," Remus whispered, embarrassed and terrified.

"How about I have Regulus come and do your tattoo, and I'll just hold your hand through it? I could offer Regulus' hand, but I doubt he'd agree."

"Would you? I mean, if you don't mind, that is. I don't know if it would work, but it might help, and it's going to be an awful inconvenience on you, isn't it?"

"It would just be a little unusual for Regulus to do one of my designs, but he's a good artist. I promise," Sirius reassured Remus. "I'll go check if he's done and call him over."

Sirius left, and Remus was allowed to wallow in his embarrassment. He couldn't believe he had asked that of someone – to hold his hand to hold his terror at bay.

The man Sirius brought with him could have passed as his twin if it weren't for the man's height and the fact that his tattoo sleeve was on the left, instead of right like Sirius' was.

"This is Regulus," Sirius said, pulling a stool to the other side of the chair. Regulus nodded in greeting, looking a bit smug as he set up.

"I'm going to take the both of you out to dinner as thanks for humouring me like this," Remus mumbled after the sound of the tattoo gun had filled the room for a while.

"Regulus is busy," Sirius said quickly. "Besides, most food from outside upsets his stomach. He has a very sensitive stomach, but I'll definitely take you up on that."

Regulus snorted somewhere above Remus. "My brother hasn't stopped talking about you since you came in weeks ago. He's been thinking up ways to ask you out, all of them more idiotic than the last. Please, as amusing as it would be to Sirius make a fool of himself, I wouldn't want to be anywhere near Sirius."

Remus opened his eyes to catch Sirius' embarrased expression. "My offer still stands. As long as I survive the tattoo."


	8. Eight

_Date me_

It would probably be one of millions of messages to Sirius Black, lost in the sea of other fans the man had, but Remus would like to think that maybe Sirius would start to recognise his name after a while – maybe smile fondly at the dedication of a fan.

Remus stowed his phone back into his cardigan pocket. The rest of the updates could wait for later. Alice would mention them even if he didn't. The only person he really made sure to to keep up with was Sirius, and that was because he admired what a person his age could do if they worked hard enough – even if they went against their family, like Sirius did.

Stumbling off at his stop, since he had fallen asleep in the bus, Remus hadn't expected to be greeted by a practically vibrating Alice.

"What did you _do_ , Remus?"

"I spent last night trying to figure out how Lucius Malfoy could break up with Sirius Black," Remus said, unabashed. "They only broke up last night."

"No, that's not what I'm talking about," Alice said, hitting Remus' shoulder. "Look!"

Alice's phone was pressed close to his face, and Remus was tempted to just calm Alice down and have her explain the entire situation to him. E held the phone slightly away from his face and recognised his own profile picture on the post by Sirius Black.

 _Anyone know who this is? Saved his picture, then my phone crashed_...

"You have to message him, Remus! I mean, he saved your picture, so he has to be interested!" Alice cried excitedly. "I was going to message him for you, but I thought it would probably be better if you did that yourself so he doesn't think it's a joke."

"Why would he do that? I've commented dozens of times, and he's never shown interest before..." Remus pointed out.

"If you're a rebound for him, I will punch his perfect little teeth crooked," Alice stated. "I don't care how famous he is. You're my best friend, and worth more than all of his fame put together."

"Thank you, Alice." Remus smiled, pulling his phone from his pocket. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to message him, at least. Maybe it's something completely different."

"That's the spirit!" Alice cheered.

 _I saw you were browsing my profile page_

Remus was going to put his phone away again, when the screen lit up and it vibrated in his hand – a near immediate reply from the man himself.

 _I regret never finding you until now_

Remus snorted, and Alice tiptoed to read the message over Remus' shoulder.

 _Charmer_

"Flirting already, Remus? It's been two messages," Alice teased.

"Shut up, Alice."

 _How about I show you how charming I can be on a date?_

Remus was threatened with losing his hearing at the squeal Alice emitted.

"You have to accept, Remus! Accept! Accept! Accept!"

 _Only if I can bring a friend to make sure you aren't a creep_

"I'm the friend, aren't I?" At Remus' nod, Alice squeezed him tightly. "I get to meet Sirius Black! I'm so excited!"

 _I'll bring a friend along, too. For safety. But the second date will be just us ;)_


	9. Nine

Remus was sure he had no previous experience with death, but staring at your own bloody body was weird. He floated down to poke at it, but his finger went right through himself. He couldn't do the same thing with the 'body' he was now – in fact, it felt very much like being alive again, except he could float and fly without magic.

"I suppose you're lost?"

Turning around, Remus came face-to-face with a black clothed male who looked both amused and bored at the same time.

"You find lost dead people all the time?" Remus asked, backing away slightly.

"It's my job to look for them," the figure replied, shrugging. "I'm a reaper. Sometimes, I think I'm the only one."

"The living believe there's only one," Remus stated.

"No! If there is only one, they _lied_ to me. To me! The higher ups said there was a whole fleet of us. 'Sirius, if all the reapers complained like you, no one would die,' they tell me all the time," the reaper frowned. "I can't cater to a billion people? Do you have any idea how many of those people get lost _every single day_? How many of those _walk into things_ every day?"

"I don't suppose you've ever wanted company?" Remus chose not to remind the reaper, Sirius, that he was one of those lost souls who _died_ because he walked into something. While trying to figure out where he was.

"Not allowed. Technically, at least. They don't actually _check_ if I've kept a soul for company, but I've never tried. Maybe they've got magnificent powers that can tell," Sirius said, faux awe coating his voice.

"I'm sure _you've_ got some magnificent powers, as a reaper."

"I just got this thing-" Sirius pulled out a large scythe from somewhere behind him, "-and the ability to show you the light. I don't know how to use the scythe, and I'd usually prefer not to show people the light."

Remus snorted. "It's probably cooler than you're making it out to be. You just want to get rid of me."

"It's not. It's _lame._ I'm a glorified escort to a bunch of dead people. I've never even seen what's beyond. Even the 'light' I'm leading souls to is invisible to me," Sirius whined.

"How about I keep you company? It's not like I have anything else to do, anyway?"

Sirius perked up. "Would you? Even if they might punish you up there wherever?"

Shrugging, Remus replied, "If they don't realise it, they'll never know?"

"I knew I'd like you when I spotted you! I could even let you carry the scythe, if you wanted?"

Remus raised an eyebrow. "What happens when you actually _swing_ your scythe?"

"No idea. I've never needed to try it. Most souls I meet have already left their body. I assume it's for that purpose, but it didn't come with specific instructions or anything," Sirius said, motioning for Remus to walk with him. "I kind of want to now..."

"We're got all of eternity."

"You'll really stay that long?"

Remus shrugged. "With you, it definitely wouldn't be a bother."


	10. Ten

"They say you and I only have five minutes, but I can tell we're going to need longer."

" _What_?" Sirius almost spills his coffee over the front of his shirt as he chokes.

"It's speed dating Friday," the sandy-haired man says smugly. "And I haven't seen _you_ here before. I'm glad I managed to snatch you up first. I have the feeling that after meeting some people here, you wouldn't want to come back."

Sirius stared at the man lounging on the seat opposite him. His beige cardigan and cup of hot chocolate would never have warned Sirius about his personality, but since Sirius was here anyway...

"I'm Sirius Black. Thank you for the warning."

"That was only my duty," the man grinned. "I'm Remus Lupin."

"And you're the guardian of the newbies?"

"Perhaps," Remus laughed. "You aren't the only newbie here today, though. Which is why we only had five minutes. I'm going to try and warn them too, before I leave."

"You're going to leave early?" Sirius asked quickly.

"I usually do. I may be the organiser, but I'm definitely not the host. That's way more exhausting." Remus stretched on his seat, and his shirt hitched up a little causing Sirius to to actually spill coffee on himself.

Remus immediately slid back onto his seat proper, handing Sirius several napkins that had were standard for each table, as Sirius cursed.

"Are you okay? Those coffees are hot, too."

"Too?"

But Remus just smirked as the bell rang at the front of the coffee shop. He stood and moved to the table across from Sirius.

Sirius smiled apologetically at the man who tried to sit at the table next, motioning to his wet clothing. He got a reluctant sigh in response, but the man moved to another table.

A card with a number slid out of a napkin as soon as Sirius upset the stack. He looked up to see Remus in the middle of conversation with another man – someone Sirius assumed was another newbie, and smiled.

After all this, he'd make this Remus sweat for a few days before contacting him. It would be payback for spilling his coffee by being so distracting!


	11. Eleven

Remus sighed. He didn't like celebrating Christmas outside his home but here he was, sitting in the posh dining hall of the Black family. Pretending to be the boyfriend of someone he didn't know didn't make things at all better, nor did having his mother dote on Sirius as if they really _were_ in a relationship.

They'd known each other for a grand total of two weeks. Remus could swear his mother had all but adopted Sirius already.

"It took some convincing to get Remus to accept. I would do it all again in a heartbeat," Sirius said, looking straight into Remus' eyes.

Remus' blush spread before he had truly registered its presence.

"The poor darling had been coming over to our house months before, wanting advice on how to ask my Remus out. It was wonderfully cute. How could I deny helping with something Sirius was so determined about?"

Remus was going to hit James the next time he saw him. He'd even started liking Sirius, for real, but Sirius was probably going to disappear after this stunt – maybe he would return for the next family event, but Remus really doubted it. All Sirius would need to say was that things didn't work out, and he had found someone else.

Sirius was a great actor, so Remus couldn't trust anything the other man said, especially not in front of the rest of the Black family.

Even so, Remus hadn't seen his mother in such a good mood in several years. The entire experience was worth seeing his mother laughing and smiling.

Twin vibrations alerted Remus a message that came in. He carefully dug his phone out his pocket to check the message. It was from James:

 _Sirius didn't want me to tell you, but he caught sight of you at my birthday party years ago. He'd been insisting I introduce you ever since, claiming you two were soulmates. I gave in because his parents_ were _insisting..._

"In fact, I think I'm going to monopolise the celebration," Sirius said suddenly, dropping to a single knee and pulling out a small black box.

Wide-eyed, Remus saw his mother nodding and wiping a tear from her eye. Had his mother also been in on the plan? It would explain her easy relationship with Sirius.

Remus nodded, and Sirius' expression lit up.

Sirius stood to hug Remus tightly, and muttered into Remus' shoulder, "I hope you know that this is for real. It's something I would do even if my parents weren't here."

"James texted me. I know. I'd still say _yes_."

They pulled apart, and Remus knew that _yes_ was one he would never regret.


	12. Twelve

"Uhh, you dropped this."

Remus flushed scarlet. He was going to make sure he never ripped a bag ever again. He grabbed the large shuriken plushie and stuffed it back into the remnants of his bag.

"If you laugh, I will throw it at you. The shuriken hurts, I promise," Remus warned.

The man raised his hand in surrender. "No judgement here. I have a plushie throwing knife."

"You managed to find one? I've been looking for those _everywhere."_ Remus temporarily abandoned his effort of locating everything that had fallen. The man soon joined him, keeping a hold of Remus' things with his left arm.

"If you don't have anything to carry your things in, you could use my bag for now. I'll walk you to wherever you need to be. I want to hear more about the only other plushie weapon collector I've ever met," the man offered. "I'm Sirius, by the way."

"I wouldn't want to inconvenient you with something like that. I'm sure we would be able to find some sort of bag I can take my things in somewhere around here."

"I insist," Sirius said, steering Remus away from the waiting platform. "I'm going home anyway. I have time to be a good Samaritan."

"You want to see the rest of my collection, don't you?" Remus narrowed his eyes at the man.

"Is it that easy to read me?" Sirius whined. "I don't even know your name and you already know one of my intentions."

"Oh, I'm Remus. Only one? What are your other intentions?" Remus started walking in the direction of his home, realising how nice it was to have company on the walk home. He'd always walked alone, both because he was always late home and because most people lived in the other direction.

"Coffee sometime, maybe." Sirius glanced at Remus quickly, before looking straight ahead again.

"Hot chocolate and it's a deal."


	13. Thirteen

"What are you doing in here?"

"I got roped into Hide and Seek with the kids," Remus muttered. "Don't you _dare_ tell them I'm in here."

"There are far better hiding spots in this shed, I would know, since I laid it out myself, but I suppose I'll join you until they find us."

The space fit the two of them if they stretched their legs out under the table. If their feet were poking out the other end, neither could tell.

"If we're going to be sharing this small space for the next hour or so, I think we can exchange names. I'm Sirius."

"I can't imagine there's anything to joke about there... Wait, your name isn't actually 'Serious', is it?"

Sirius grumbled under his breath before nodding reluctantly. Remus knew he shouldn't be laughing, but he couldn't help the humour at their very near misunderstanding.

"I'm Remus," he whispered as soon as he was able to calm down. "Are you Siriusly a landscaper?"

Remus snorted again, and Sirius ended up cracking a smile. There were few people who appreciate the Sirius-ness of his puns. Most people just got annoyed, or groaned as if they'd heard it thousands of times.

The light patter of feet had them both freezing in place, humour momentarily lost in the face of potentially winning a game. The feet disappeared after covering their little bit of sunlight with a short shadow.

"He's gone. Let's go and win this game!" Sirius whispered, trying to shift around and see if he could catch a glimpse of the door.

Remus tugged him down. "These kids are smart. They check somewhere, then hang around to see if anyone comes out. Just sit here for a little while longer."

Sirius shifted back to his original position. "If we're going to be here a while, I want to hear more about you."

Sirius could feel Remus shrug in acceptance. "Only if you answer my questions too."

"Of course. Let's start with... what's your number?"


	14. Fourteen

Remus stared between the embroidery set and sight of several people within the room already, each engrossed with their embroidery, gave you a pause. Was hereally allowed to distract them with his presence, and beginner questions – things that would probably ruin their concentration and maybe even their entire design?

His mother stared encouragingly from his behind him as he turned around to protest. She was the one who had insisted in him getting a hobby – embroidery had sounded the safest – and insisted on coming to see him in for the first time. Remus could tell she was probably a little worried since he had never taken an interest in anything since his childhood – other than chocolate. If there had been a chocolate club anywhere, Remus would have joined in a heartbeat.

Taking a deep breath, Remus walked through the double-doors. It took several minutes for anyone to notice that he was there, and Remus felt worse knowing he had interrupted someone's work.

"Are you joining us? It's been ages since we had a new member!"

"Remus nodded. He had been fairly apprehensive about joinign even with the promise to his mother. "I'm afraid you're going to have to teach me. I don't know anything about embroidery, and-" Remus finally looked around properly, "-Sirius?"

"You know each other? He's our star embroiderer," the woman looked incredibly pleased. "He's a perfectionist with these things, so it's a bit difficult learning off him, but if you do manage it, you'll surpass the rest of us by dar."

"Remus?" Sirius looked uncertain at seeing him, but brightened once he noticed the embroidering set. "You're joining? Lily, I'm mentoring him! I don't care if anyone else as claimed him already!"

Lily smiled. "I haven't seeen an eager response for mentoring someone from him since we introduced the concepts. I think he called us a bunch of embroidering n00bs."

"Don't worry, Remus. I'll teach you everything about embroidering!"


	15. Fifteen

Remus stuck his tongue between his teeth as he etched the last strokes of the soulmate mark onto his forearm. It had taken days of research, and more images than Remus liked to think about to finally get it right.

Allowing the ink to dry (Remus really couldn't afford to let it smudge). It would take only ten minutes with with the particular marker he used. The man would know no better.

He also needed the mark to be fairly visible to other people while he walked, or his target wouldn't point it out and the plan never worked as well when Remus was the one to point out the matching marks – it always appeared too perfectly done, orchestrated. Suspicion meant that Remus could never get away with as much as he could otherwise – no one liked being wrong, after all.

An hour later had him trailing his mark, trying to figure out which route would be best to bump into him, when his arm was grabbed from the back – the very same arm that spotted his fake soulmate mark.

"Don't you dare go after my target," the voice whispered in his ear after pulling him into a hug as if they were old friends.

Remus forced the man to spin around so that e could see where his target had moved. "It's not your target. He is mine."

The man pulled back, grey eyes tightening in annoyance, before he paused.

"I'm definitely not going to let you mark him, and disappear," the man insisted. "I'm sure of it, you're my soulmate. Mark me instead."

Remus looked uncertain. They were all sporting the same mark right now, and it would be nearly impossible to tell the difference between them – even though there has never been a case of more than two of the same marks showing up. The target would know something was off immediately.

The target would get suspicious if both of them marked him with the same tattoo – and Remus didn't like dealing with suspicious marks. They were far more difficult to convince.

"How about _I_ mark him, and _you_ just hang around until I get back."

"No, no one is going to touch my soulmate," the man insisted.

"I can't believe you still believe in that with what you do," Remus said dryly.

The man frowned. "Of course I believe in soulmates. I've been waiting to find my own for years, and now I have. And you're not going anywhere without me. I'm not going to lose you."

Remus sighed. "If I give you my number would you let me finish my chase."

The man nodded eagerly, and watched carefully as the number was entered on his phone. Ringing the number resulted in Remus' phone chiming insistently, and the man finally looked satisfied.

"I'll see you later!"

"You don't even know my name!" Remus shouted back, but the man had already disappeared through the crowds.


	16. Sixteen

Sirius had always believed libraries were boring. They were filled with with dusty old tomes that no one had opened in decades, centuries even, but James always followed Lily into the library while insisting he needed a wingman. So there was nothing to do but wander the shelves for hours, pulling out books in random, and Sirius thought he could work at this library with how well he knew it.

The row he had just walked through was one he must have missed in all his wanderings, because Sirius was sure he would remember finding such an odd collection of books in some foreign script he had never seen before.

Reaching out to flip open the nearest book had the library fading from around him. Maybe the book had been poisoned, and that was why he had never found this section before? But his eyes weren't drooping and Sirius didn't see any light he was supposed to be approaching.

Instead, Sirius was immediately smitten with the male figure that stood before him, amused, if not a little flustered.

"I didn't expect them to send mortals into my chambers," he muttered.

"I certainly don't mind staying in your chambers," Sirius blurted.

The man stared at him for a long moment, before quickly turning around, but not before Sirius caught red dusting his cheeks. "I'm Remus, God of Chocolate, and I've been told I need to go into hiding in the mortal world. Temporarily, at least."

"You can stay with me as long as you'd like," Sirius interrupted. "I live alone, and you'd be like a roommate!"

"You haven't even heard my entire speech," Remus groaned, slumping. "I took so long to think it up, too. So much research into your mortal behaviour, and chocolate supply."

Sirius shrugged. "I can buy tons of chocolate. I'd imagine that's the most important part, since you're the God of Chocolate."

"That was pretty much the rest of the speech," Remus admitted.

Sirius nodded. "I'll get you as much chocolate as you want, and you can stay with me as long as you possibly can."

"If it were this easy, I wouldn't have procrastinated this much."

Sirius winked. "I'm glad you waited for me."


	17. Seventeen

It was one of the few things that wasn't Sirius' fault. The car came out of nowhere, shooting the red light and straight into James' car.

One, James was going to kill him.

Two, it might be the car that kills him first. Probably in revenge.

He struggled out of the driver's seat nevertheless, squirming and wriggling his way into the less damaged passenger side of the car. It would be easier to figure out an escape plan from that side.

What seemed like a moment later, he was thundering down a street with the violent screeching of an ambulance trailing him. He must have passed out somewhere in between, because he was wrapped in blankets and being jarred with the motion of the vehicle.

"I'm glad you're awake. How are you feeling?"

It took two tries for Sirius to finally get the words out, "I'm fine. I think."

"I'm Remus. I'm just going to do the standard checks, if you don't mind?" At Sirius' nod, Remus continued. "What's your name?"

As the questions grew in number, so did the clarity of Sirius' mind.

"You're awfully handsome. I bet most people wake up and believe you're an angel," Sirius said, interrupting Remus' questions.

Remus laughed. "Not really, but it sounds like you're fine now. Not everyone is as charming as you are after an accident. Most are worried about their car, or family."

"It's my friend's car. He'll murder me after he gets over the worry of finding out. I'm going to have to go into hiding. Leave the country," Sirius cried.

"I'm sure it wouldn't be that bad."

"It will be. Can I come stay with you if he kicks me out?"

"My mother would be delighted that I finally have a social life," Remus quibbed.

Sirius sat up so quickly, Remus had to steady him again. "I don't believe that in the slightest. You're just trying to make me feel better, but I'm going to take you out for dinner as thanks anyway. Maybe I can prove I'm better than your boyfriend, whoever he is."

Remus shook his head with a wry smile. This man had barely woken from an accident, and was already asking for dinner dates.


	18. Eighteen

"So you're my flower thief? I want to see the lucky guy," Sirius watched the man freeze in place, rose stem already broken and held in his right hand.

"There isn't a guy. I mean, this isn't for a guy."

"A girl, then?"

"Uh, no."

Sirius glared at him suspiciously. "Are you just stealing my flowers then? I know they're beautiful, but they're prettier alive."

The man made a move to run off.

"Nope. I'm coming with you. You're clearly lying, and I want to know what person is worth you stealing flowers from another person's garden," Sirius insisted.

"I-Alright, you can come. But it isn't what you think it is."

Sirius fell into step with him, and they walked in silence. The man didn't offer his name, so Sirius didn't either. He'd been waiting for this flower thief for months, but the flower had always disappeared when Sirius had been distracted for only a few minutes – and it was always the most beautiful flower, so Sirius always noticed.

It was only when they stepped into the graveyard that Sirius's furious thoughts finally ground to a halt. His pace slowed as he watched the man trace perfect steps through the graveyard, and Sirius almost felt bad about his thoughts.

"My mother," the man said as Sirius approached. "She's only been here a couple of months, and always admired your garden. I'm sorry I just took the flowers without your permission. I intended to, but every time I knocked no one answered."

 _Hope Lupin_

"Was this the short woman who always waved to me in the garden as she passed?" Sirius asked, remembering wondering where the woman had gone one day.

"Probably. She always gave me updates about the flowers you were growing. I know nothing about flowers, but I still try to keep her updated whenever I visit."

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs Lupin," Sirius said, staring at the gravestone. "I get the feeling that your son is making a mess of describing my garden. Don't worry, I'll join him every time he comes and give you updates."

"You don't have-"

"I'll also make sure he eats and takes care of himself. You would be very disappointed in his scraggly appearance," Sirius added. "He'll be eating dinner with me from today."


	19. Nineteen

A visit to the bank was usually uninspiring. The people who usually joined him in line were a bunch of noisy whiners, and Sirius usually did his best to annoy them further – yawning loudly and waiting for a long time before moving forward seemed to frustrate people more than when he brought Snuffles with him.

But today, Sirius was one of the frustrated masses as even other people's frustration didn't take away from the fact that _it had been three hours_ and he was still one person away from the teller.

He never would have believed anyone to move slower than a demotivated Peter, but Sirius was about to meet the person.

"Everyone get down! This is a bank robbery!"

Sirius didn't bother holding back the trail of choice curses that left his mouth. Could they not have waited until he was done?

His brain only caught up to his mouth when an arm wrapped around his middle, trapping his arms against his body, and the cool metal came to lay against his head. Sirius paused mid-word, uncertain if continuing his tirade would make his captor angry.

"Your vocabulary certainly is... extensive," the male voice whispered into his ear, raising his voice further, he addressed the teller. "Would you be a dear and empty out those registers into a bag for me? I do hope you like these tiled floors _without_ brain splatters."

Sirius tensed.

The teller moved faster than she did in the last three hours, shooting Sirius terrified glances. If she'd moved this fast in the last few hours, he wouldn't be in this position, but Sirius wasn't exactly in a position to tell her that.

Sirius hoped someone had managed to call the police by now. He didn't want to be a splatter on the floor.

There was another masked man that Sirius hadn't noticed earlier that picked the burlap bag from the shaking hands of the teller. Sirius wriggled to see if the man holding him would let go, now that he had the money he had come for, but the man's arm didn't budge in the slightest.

"I almost want to take you with me," the man sighed, sounding disappointed.

Whatever the man had intended to say next was lost to time as the wind was knocked out of the both of them. The man's hold loosened enough for Sirius to roll away as they fell. Even so, a stray bullet left the man's gun, and Sirius feared for his life. The man who had knocked into them was vaguely familiar, Sirius had probably noticed him in passing as another one of the bank's many patrons.

"Robbing a bank is one thing. Kidnapping is a completely different thing," the man said, slamming a fist into the man's temple, "but both leave you in a government-funded room."

The robber's partner ran, money held firmly in his grip, until his exit was blocked by two of the bank's security guards.

"Are you okay? I didn't think he managed to do much more than startle you, but you can never be sure," the man said, offering a hand to help Sirius up. "There's this wonderful little coffee shop a couple of streets over. Their hot chocolate will definitely help with the shock."

"It will be our first date of many," Sirius declared.

The man paused, amber eyes glancing curiously at Sirius. "You must be in more shock than I'd originally expected."

"I've been saved by an angel!"

The man looked down at himself. "Who wears black. Brilliant."

"I'm Sirius Black! Let's go to that coffee shop!" Sirius tightened his grip on the man's arm, that he hadn't let go off since he had been helped up, and tugged the man towards the exit of the bank.

"A serious _hazard to public safety_ , is what you are."


	20. Twenty

Remus swiped the card to finally get into his hotel room after a long day of small annoyances. He took one look inside the room and just sighed.

He really was too tired for this. Going back down those stairs to complain would just mean that he would have to come up one more time for the staff to "check" that he didn't just want a different room.

Was this hotel really so disorganised that they had assigned him a room they had already given someone else?

Deciding he wasn't up for another trek down the stairs, Remus chose instead to use the phone in the room, and hopefully not wake the snoring occupant. He was almost successful too, had he not slammed his foot into the edge of the second bed on his way out of the room. And cursed fairly loudly at his rotten luck.

"Who are you, and what are you doing in my room?"

"Our room, technically. I was just using the phone to get the staff to sort that out. I was too tired to actually walk all the way back to reception," Remus explained, standing near the door somewhat awkwardly.

"We've just been assigned the same room, right? There aren't any other special requirements from your side?" At Remus's shake of his head, the other man smiled looking as tired as Remus felt. "It'll take them too long to sort this out. Just sleep on the other bed. We can sort this out in the morning."

Despite his exhaustion, Remus wouldn't want to intrude on someone else's privacy. "Are you sure? I don't mind waiting a while longer for them to sort everything out. I've interrupted your sleep already!"

"Even _I_ can tell that you look like you're very nearly sleepwalking. Just sleep. It'll be like having a room mate for a night, and I don't think you could come close to being as terrible of a room mate as James is, so don't worry yourself over it." The man was half-speaking into the pillow, so Remus acquiesced, not wanting to keep the man up much longer.

The man was snoring before Remus had even brought his suitcase in and closed the door.


End file.
